“You cut my stanza like it was filler,” Ishita said, still standing just inside my living room, sandals on, the lane noise of Mysuru leaking through the window grille. “You smiled at the committee and dropped my lines as if a woman from this city should be grateful for leftover minutes.”
The ceiling fan clicked on a slow setting. I stayed near the dining table with a glass of water I had not offered her. “The hall only gave us twelve minutes. Your piece ran long, and Pramod was already tapping his watch.”
“Then you ask me.” Her braid had loosened from the scooter ride. “You do not erase me in front of people who already treat a woman speaker like decoration.”
Heat rose in my throat, the unfinished kind that had sat between us for two weeks. “If that is how little you think of me, Ishita, go. The door is behind you. I will not beg you to stay in this house.”
She looked at the painted door. A scooter passed in the layout. She did not turn the latch. She stepped farther in, set her phone on the low table, and faced me with her chin up.
In this corner of southern India, a public reading can feel like a family exam, and both of us had grown up reciting for relatives who graded every pause. That was why the cut had landed like a slap.
“I am not leaving,” she said. “I came to finish this, not to perform a walkout for your pride.”
“Finish what? The argument, or the habit of arriving angry and expecting me to fold?”
Her laugh was short. “You folded my work. There is a difference.” She came close enough that I smelled jasmine oil in her hair, the same oil she used before every reading.
The glass went down harder than I meant. Water jumped on the wood. “Stay then. But do not stand there like a guest who is doing me a favour.”
Choosing Not to Walk Out
Ishita hooked two fingers in the hem of my grey t-shirt, not pulling yet, just holding the cloth as if it were the last honest thing in the room. “I am angry at you. I am also tired of riding home with that anger sitting in my throat.”
My hand found the side of her navy kurta, the cotton already warm from the Mysuru evening. “If you want only a fight, say so. I will keep my hands off you.”
“I want your hands,” she said, and she put my palm against her waist herself. “Yes. This. Not as an apology for the stanza.”
That was enough. The kiss was clumsy at first because we were still mid-argument, teeth and breath and the leftover heat of the committee hall. She bit my lower lip, then softened, and the living room shrank to the width of her braid against my wrist.
Buttons on the kurta gave one by one. Under it she wore a plain cream blouse that had stuck a little to her skin. I peeled it up and she raised her arms without making a speech of it. Her breasts were heavy in my hands, nipples tightening when my thumbs crossed them, and she made a sound that had nothing to do with metres or minutes.
Jeans next. The zip stuck, then ran. She kicked the denim down, left it bunched at one ankle, and pulled me onto the sofa by the waistband of my track pants. My mouth went to her throat, then lower, and she held the back of my head when I took a nipple between my lips and sucked until her hips lifted.
The sofa fabric was rough. Her underwear was already damp when I slid it aside and put two fingers along her, not in yet, just learning the heat. Ishita swore under her breath, a Kannada curse she only used when she was past politeness, and opened her knees wider.
I went down on her there, one knee on the floor, the table edge knocking my shoulder. She was slick, salt and jasmine mixed, and she pulled my hair when I licked her in a slow, stubborn line. Her heel dug into my back. The fan kept clicking. Somewhere in the layout a pressure cooker whistled and died.
“Siddharth,” she said, not as a recitation, as a warning that she was close already. I did not rush the ending. I stayed with the same pressure until her thighs shook and she came with her wrist over her mouth, trying not to give the lane a story.
When I stood, she dragged my track pants down and took me in her fist, then in her mouth, wet and inelegant, looking up once as if to check I was still in the argument with her. I was. My hand stayed in her hair, not forcing, only following the bob of her head until my knees threatened to fold.
We almost went further on that sofa. Her legs were around my hips, the head of my cock sliding against her, no condom yet, both of us stupid with the leftover fight. She was about to tell me to wait or not wait when the phone on the low table lit up and buzzed like a second person in the room.
The Saturday Reading Call
Pramod’s name filled the screen. Ishita froze with her palms on my chest. The buzz kept going. Neither of us reached at first, as if ignoring it could put the committee back in its box.
“Take it,” she said finally, voice scraped. “If you let it die, he will come to the gate.”
I sat back, ugly and exposed, and answered on speaker because my hands were not clean enough for secrets. “Pramod.”
“Siddharth, Saturday is confirmed. Hall at six. Tell Ishita we can give her four minutes if she trims. The chief guest wants the patriotic piece first.”
Ishita’s face changed. Not to tears. To a hard, bright decision. She leaned toward the phone, still bare from the waist up, and said, clearly, “Pramod, cancel us. Both of us. We are not reading.”
Silence on the line, then a confused laugh. “You two fought again? India is full of readings, you know. One Saturday is not a marriage.”
“Cancel,” I said, and I meant it this time, not as a tactic. “Put someone else. We are done with the twelve-minute charity.”
He started to argue about posters already printed. Ishita reached over and ended the call with her thumb. The room felt different after that, not because the desire had gone, but because the public version of us had been cut the way I had cut her stanza, and she had chosen the cut.
“Not here,” she said, glancing at the grille, at the sofa, at the lane. “I stayed. I am not performing for the window. Inner room.”
We gathered the fallen kurta and jeans because leaving them in a heap felt like leaving evidence for a story we had just refused to tell on a stage. She walked ahead down the short passage, blouse in her fist, braid coming fully undone. I followed with my t-shirt half on, cock still wet from her mouth, the argument unfinished in a new way.
The bedroom was darker. I drew the curtain on the rear window that faced the neighbour’s water tank, not as a ceremony, as a habit of this city. Ishita sat on the edge of the bed and rolled her underwear down the rest of the way. She watched me open the bedside drawer and take a condom, and she nodded once, practical, the same nod she used when a line in a poem finally sat right.
I tore the packet, rolled it on, and she pulled me down by the shoulders. We fitted together without the sofa’s panic. She was still very wet. I pushed in slow because she winced, then she hooked her ankles at my back and told me, “Now. Harder than the committee.”
The bedframe tapped the wall in an uneven rhythm. I held her hip and drove into her until the earlier fight turned into breath against my ear. She raked my shoulder, not breaking skin, and lifted to meet me. When I rubbed her clit with my thumb she clenched around me so tightly I had to stop a second or I would have finished too soon.
“Don’t you dare pause for poetry,” she muttered, and that broke something kinder in me than pride. I laughed into her neck and started again, shorter strokes, the kind that made her lose the shape of sentences.
She came a second time with her mouth open against my collarbone, no wrist to hide it, and I followed, buried deep, the condom holding as it should, my weight on my elbows so I would not crush her. For a few breaths the fan was the only moving thing. Sweat cooled along her temple where the jasmine oil had mixed with it.
I pulled out carefully, tied the condom, dropped it in the small bin beside the bed. She did not look away from that ordinary motion. In India we are taught to dress shame in nicer words, but she watched the bin lid close as if it were part of the honesty we had refused Pramod.
“The stanza still deserved its minutes,” she said, quieter, lying on her side with the sheet to her hip. “You were wrong in the hall.”
“I was wrong in the hall,” I said. No bargain attached. The sex had not purchased the admission. The admission had been sitting in my mouth since she chose the door and did not use it.
Down the Stairs Afterward
Ishita sat up before the sweat had fully dried. She put the cream blouse on inside out, swore, fixed it, then the navy kurta, buttons done with the same impatient fingers that had ended Pramod’s call. Jeans next, zip, sandals waiting by the living-room door where she had never taken them off for long.
I pulled the track pants and t-shirt on and walked her through the passage. The living room still smelled of her, of the water spilled on the table, of the argument that had not been cleaned into a moral.
At the stairhead she paused with her phone in her fist. “Do not call him back and un-cancel. If you do, I will hear it from someone else in this country before I hear it from you.”
“I will not un-cancel.”
We went down the two flights without touching. The compound light was a weak yellow. An auto idled at the layout entrance, the driver already counting evening fares. Ishita raised her hand, and the auto rolled forward.
She got in without asking me to ride along. The auto turned toward the main road, her braid a dark line in the open side, and I stood on the last step until the engine note thinned. Then I went back up, locked the painted door she had refused to use, and left the glass of water where it was.
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